Finally over the FLU

Wow- it has been about 10 days getting over this flu- It SUCKED! Finally today I can breathe and I actually want to eat. I guess because I have been so congested that the thought of eating made me want to gag. Mostly it was bread type stuff and anything that was dry. Of course I forced myself to eat because of lil pumpkin but everything just tasted horrible. Today I am going to Pei Wei for lunch and get something spicy to try to clear out the last bit of congestion.

Not much going on in the way of symptoms...BBs are a little sore, not too bad.
I think Jason would say that I have been a little moodier :).
I am definetly more tired in the evenings but I can't tell if that is because of lil pumpkin or just from being sick. Probably a combination of both.
The main thing that sticks out is THIRST! I remember being thirsty with Garrett, but I can't remember if it was this bad. I guess that is my body's way of staying hydrated!

I am not thinking about the "slower" beta. I am just going on with life as if I never had that result and that everything is just fine. I am enjoying every moment of this pregnancy. It took so long for us to get here and this will (probably) be my last pregnancy so I am just savoring every moment and not letting worry get to me.
I really do believe deep down that it is going to be ok. Can't wait to see the lil pumpkin on the 12th during the ultrasound though-just to make sure!

I bought a pregnancy journal this past weekend-it has places in it to record your weight and waist size throughout the pregnancy. I measured my waist and then got curious what my waist size was with Garrett. So I opened up the journal that I kept when pregnant with him to compare the sizes. I WAS 5 MONTHS PREGNANT before my waist was the size it is now. GEEZ, can you say I have put on a few pounds...In fact at my current weight I am only 5 lbs. less than I was when I GAVE BIRTH last time. Granted I only gained 20lbs with Garrett, but still I am 15lbs heavier going into this pregnancy than I was last time. Kind of depressing- but oh well- I can worry about it after lil pumpkin has made its debut in October...

Beta #2

Well the results are in:
385

Good but not doubling every 48 hrs. more like 54 hours. Everything I have read says as long as it is 48-72 hours it is fine. Dr didn't seem too concerned. They did not order a repeat beta just scheduled me to come in a few days early for my u/s.

I am trying not to read too much into this- I really do believe it is fine- but just having that tiny bit of doubt sucks! And u/s isn't for 2 more weeks so here we go back to the 2 week wait...

No sticks to pee on

Well today is the first day since last Monday that I haven't peed on a stick. I am out of pg tests. I had an OPK that I thought about peeing on because I have heard about people using them as pg tests. But then I decided not to because they do not even measure the same hormone so why would someone use them as a pg test?! I might do it tomorrow just to see what happens.

I tried to buy more pg tests yesterday but Jason told me NO!! I had already used 8 and gotten the results of my Beta- I am indeed pregnant! But I still want the satisfaction of seeing those 2 beautiful lines.

Maybe I will go buy one today that says "pregnant"- just so I can take a picture to put in the baby book.

Beta #1

Well the nurse called today (Sunday) and told me that my beta was 114 Yea!! Progesterone and Estrogen were normal also
We were at a restaurant having breakfast when she called and I started crying, what a relief
I asked about the spotting and she said it was normal and not to worry about it unless it starts coming out like a period (yeah right, how can I not worry)
So once again I am cautiously optomistic. Beta #2 is on Tuesday. We will see what Tuesday brings.

I just HATE this spotting!!

blood test, spotting, flu etc...

Well I had my blood test yesterday and I am not going to get the results back until Monday- ARG!! That wouldn't have been a big deal since the HPT are getting darker, but I have started spotting. Started spotting yesterday. I called the Dr office and the nurse asked me what color it was and it was (is) pink and she said that is normal.
Of course I have googled and have found many stories where women spotted and have normal pregnancies and just as many that don't. So I don't know, I am thinking this is not a good thing since I always spot before I get AF. I guess we will know more on Monday when I get the results back.
It just sucks to have gone through all of this-all of the shots, ultrasounds, blood draws, medications etc., and it not work. I would have rather had negative HPT then to have postive ones and then something happen to it.

Also I have the flu-I went to the doc yesterday and because I was (am) pregnant I can't take tamiflu so I have to just suffer through it. I am feeling much better today though, I think my fever broke yesterday so if I could just get rid of all the congestion I would be better.

I guess we will see what the results are on Monday but I am not holding on to much hope for this pregnancy to stick.

Well...

I have tested two more times since my last post. One yesterday afternoon after holding my pee for 5 hours and the line was there, very faint but there.

So I was able to tell Jason the way I had wanted to. I bought an anniversary card and in the card I wrote the poem that I blogged about yesterday. He looked up and said "what does this mean?" Of course I was crying already and so he knew. He started crying and gave me a big hug. What a great anniversary!

Then I couldn't sleep so I got up at 4am and tested and the line was there and DARKER! So I am very cautiously optomistic!!!

We will see what Beta holds for us on Friday, hopefully HIGH numbers...

I am the crabbiest, moodiest person in the world right now. Everything makes me want to either cry or tear someone's head off. I keep telling myself that it is because I have a crazy amount of hormones flying around in my body right now!

Anyway I am happy and very thankful that I found the insurance to cover the IVF--because without it I probably wouldn't be pg!! What a roller coaster!

Funny thing about the hpt this morning

I can't find it...
Of course I was carrying it through the house looking at it in different lights (as all of us poas-aholics do) and I think I set it down somewhere and I can't remember for the life of me...

It is not in the trash, I went through it (gross) and I have searched everywhere.

Funny part is that we have a babysitter coming tonight and I am worried that she is going to find it somewhere random-like in the fridge or something--who knows.

At least that will add a little humor about the situation...

Is it a line?!?

Well I tested again this morning because I thought it would be really cool to tell Jason tonight when we are at dinner for our anniversary--8 yrs--.

I THINK I saw something on an internet cheapie... it was oh so light, maybe an evaporation line--I just don't know?!? But it was enough to restore my hope. I am going to buy a FRER tonight and test again before we go out to dinner. I have dreamed up this fun way to tell Jason if it is bfp. I am going to get him an anniversary card and give it to him at dinner. In the card I will write this little poem I made up... at the end of the poem it says:

"I am going to tell you a secret that only you and I know, but we have to tell people before I start to show.
Yes that's right, Garrett's going to be a big brother, our time has finally come to have another"

I know I am not the world's best poet-- ha! but I think it is a cute way to tell him
I hope and pray that I can spill the beans tonight!

Now I am off to research evaporation lines...

Well I tested

BFN...

I know it is really early 5dp5dt but that equals out to 10dpo- so I thought maybe.
Strangely I am not that upset by it-I guess because it is still early and there is still a chance.

Not feeling any symptoms AT ALL, boobs aren't even sore anymore.
I am not holding out much hope for this cycle working. I am already thinking about next cycle. Not very positive thinking I know-but that is how I feel.

Anyway I have to day off of work today so I am going to enjoy the beautiful weather and hang out with Garrett-he always makes me smile!

one week wait

Well-I am down to the one week wait- Beta is one week from today...

It is so weird that during IVF the embryos are not even inside of you for part of the two week wait. Two week wait starts at retrieval so for 3-5 days you are "in" the two week wait, but you KNOW that you have nothing growing inside of you.

So technically I only have a "9 day wait" this cycle (the time from transfer to beta). Still it is going by so slowly though!

PIO shots are starting to hurt. They didn't hurt the first couple of days, but now they are. Wonder why?? I guess because we are running out of room on the fat places of my bum :)

Transfer complete--PUPO

Well transfer is complete and I am finally off the 24 hr bedrest. That was the worst part, I am not a bed rest type of girl so I was really ready to get out of the house this afternoon.

Transfer was easy- tranferred two very good quality blasts so now we wait...
Beta is scheduled for next Friday (22nd), but I am pretty certain I will test before then--just can't decide when...maybe on the 19th that is my 8th anniversary so that would be a cool anniversary present-but on the other hand it would make me really sad if it was neg.

Of course I have "googled" when other people test and some get bfp 4 or 5 days after 5dt. The 19th would be 6dpt so maybe it would show up?!? Decisions, Decisions...

ET rescheduled

Well, well-- the kiddos are growing so well they have rescheduled me to Wednesday, which will be a 5 day transfer
We have 2 at 10 cells, 2 at 8 cells and one poor little one at 2 cells.
At this point they should be at 8 cells so we have four that are EXCELLENT!!

I am so relieved-I know that many many people get pg with a 3dt, I researched it alot this weekend- but for me I really wanted to try to grow them out to 5 day so that we could pick the strongest- and yea!! we get to wait until 5 day

Also I have this major issue at work- I made a HUGE mistake that needs to be dealt with asap and now this gives me time to deal with it. I am very thankful because I have been VERY stressed about it and I was worried that the stress might harm the eggies. Now I have time to deal with it today and tomorrow and then I can (hopefully) be stress free on Wednesday and Thursday.

UPDATE:
I dealt with the issue at work- turns out it isn't my fault AT ALL and that there isn't even an issue-just an oversight on someone else's part that made me look very bad. But once the mistake of the other person is corrected then everything is fine.
THANK GOODNESS!!! I guess I should have dealt with it last week and then I wouldn't have spent the whole weekend worrying about it.

I have 5 children growing in a petri dish

That is weird!! Five of Eight eggs fertilized. Not bad I suppose.
I guess because we have "fewer" eggs, RE and embryologist decided to do a 3 day transfer- so transfer is on Monday at 12:15- then bedrest for 24 hours and then back to business as usual.

I am NOT going to obsess about symptoms this time since I know that the PIO causes them-

I am sure I will POAS before beta- well for sure I want to do it that morning bc I would rather find out that way if it is negative then by a nurse calling me.
But when will I start POAS??? I don't know- I want to wait as long as possible--maybe (doubtfully) I will hold out until beta day on the 22nd. Whew- that is a LONG time away!!

Well I am off to enjoy the beautiful weather-- it is probably 80 degrees today--

Keeping fingers and toes crossed that we have some great embies on Monday

More on the rabbits from this morning

OK- so of course I am sitting here, bored at work and decide to start researching rabbits and what they represent.
Turns out they represent FERTILITY-- Read this from wikipedia:

A fertility symbol is an object used by early historical human societies representing fertility. These symbols took on several different forms.
For example, some fertility symbols took on the appearance of a rotund human female as obesity was seen as attractive in times when food was scarce. Also, certain animals that reproduce often have been viewed as fertility symbols, such as frogs and rabbits.

And from another website:

Because of its fertility (one doe can produce 42 young a year), the rabbit or hare is an emblem of fertility, abundance, good fortune, sexuality, lasciviousness, lust, procreation, puberty, renewal, spring, rampant growth, excess, and love gods and goddesses such as Venus, Aphrodite, and Cupid. Pliny the Elder even prescribed its meat as a cure for female sterility.

I am freaking out!! I totally believe in signs and I hope seeing the two rabbits this morning was a sign of good things to come!!

ER completed

ER is complete-- 9 follies going into it and got 8 eggs so I am pleased.
Of course we won't know how many were mature or how many fertilized until tomorrow- hopefully ALL of them did.

The procedure was really easy, I am actually back at work already.

One thing funny (and a bit embarrassing) happened: Jason told me as I was waking up in my recovery room- I told the Dr "don't worry, I have been like this before although usually it is alcohol induced"-- I am embarrassed to have to see him in a few days. But I am sure he has heard worse.

So now we wait...fert report tomorrow and then the decision to do 3 or 5 day transfer.

Oh- as we were walking into the clinic we saw 2 little bunnies hopping around- I take this as a good sign since we all know easily rabbits reproduce:)

ER is scheduled

We are set for Friday!! Of course this is the WORST possible day it could have happened work-wise for Jason and myself- but I am not going to worry about it at this point- nothing I can do and I can't change it so why worry?!? I just hope we both have a job after :)

Anyway lining is 9mm. Ten follies ranging from 22mm down to 7mm. Obviously the smaller ones won't mature. The nurse said she thought we were looking at having 6-7 mature ones. So that is good, gives us a few to work with.

The best part is NO MORE REPRONEX (hopefully forever). My skin and that medication did not like each other AT ALL! My stomach looks like I have huge hives all over it. It is pretty gross looking-but hopefully all of the redness and swelling will go down since I am finished with it.

I do trigger tonight (not sure about time yet) and then go in Friday morning for ER.
3-5 days later is ET.

The nurse drew big bulls eyes on my booty to give us a target for the progesterone shots-- ha ha! Jason should have fun with that.

UPDATE: ER is scheduled for 7:30am on Friday

One more thought- I just went back and looked at all of the predictions I have gotten over the past. One of the (Cheri-from Web MD) predicted February and Girl-yippee! Please oh please let her be right!!!

U/S update

Had another appointment with the cooter cam this morning (that is what DH and I have decided to start calling the u/s wand) and I have another late follie that decided to show up-- yea!!!

So I had 9 follies ranging from 17mm to 11mm and lining was at 8. I am pleased that a new one decided to pop up!!

Had blood drawn as well and am waiting the call from the Dr. about whether or not to adjust meds. I have now added in a 3rd shot called Ganirelix. This prevents premature ovulation.

I think ER will probably be Thurs or Friday. I am getting nervous about work- I haven't exactly told my boss everything that is going on- I have told her that I am seeing an RE and that I am taking large doses of hormones to try to produce many eggs. But I haven't told her about doing IVf and the time off I will need for ET/ER She is planning on being off on Friday and so I am going to have to fake a sick day. She and I really shouldn't be out on the same day... but I really don't have a choice if ER ends up being on Friday. Then to top it off we have numerous closings that are supposed to take place next week--when I will need off 2 days for ET. Hopefully those won't close though...

On another note we had fun at my friend's house watching the Superbowl. It was nice to get out and around friends. We have been staying home alot because going out with friends usually involves drinking and since I am not drinking being around drunk people isn't as much fun. But it was great to see everyone and it was great to wake up this morning with NO HANGOVER!! What a great game-- I wanted the Giants to win- mostly because they were the underdog.

UPDATE:
Just heard from the Dr. office. I am to stay on the same dosage of Follistim and Repronex, but up the dose from 1/2 to whole of the Ganirelix. (This is probably to slow the 17mm follie down so the others can catch up). Go back in on Wed for cooter cam and bloodwork. I guess I find out then whether ER will be on Friday or over the weekend...

First Follie check

Had my first follie check yesterday. I had four on the right ranging from 7.5mm to 5.5mm and four on the left ranging from 9mm to 7mm. So eight total so far, ultrasound tech said more may pop up, they may just be too small to see at this point.

So I am to continue the same amount of meds and go back tomorrow for another check.

I was a bit discouraged at only having 8, but I am very happy to have those 8. Some women only get 2 or 3- so I think 8 is a great start!! But hopefully there will be a few more in there tomorrow.

The nurse said we are looking good as long as they all stay together around the same size.

More tomorrow...