Christy's Quest

20 weeks and its a.....

2009-06-12T17:31:00.003-05:00

BOY!! All I can do is laugh at having 3 boys, 2 of which are a year apart... my house is going to be crazy! We are excited. Everything looked great. He is weighing in at a whooping 12oz and wiggling around like crazy. I haven't felt him much because the placenta is posterier(?). Dr said I should start to really feel him in 2-4 weeks.

Poor birds

2009-06-04T10:20:00.003-05:00

We have these birds that built a nest in this bamboo shade right out our back door. It has been pretty fun to watch them build the nest and then to watch them bring food back and forth to the baby(ies).... Until today.

I knew this would happen, but I thought maybe they would escape... THE DOGS.

Garrett looked out the window today and saw the dogs chasing something and he yelled for me to come. I looked out and saw the dogs chasing something and two birds divebombing the dogs. I got the dogs inside but not without a casualty. One of the babies is right outside the back door, presumably dead. It hasn't moved at all. I am just leaving it alone for now, hoping that it is just scared--- but I re
ally don't think so. The poor mama and daddy bird are flying around everywhere chirping, looking for their baby. It is the circle of life, I guess- but man, I am sad for the birds.

UPDATE: The baby bird is alive and hopping around the back yard. I wonder how long it will take to learn to fly bc I am trying to keep the dogs from getting it.

18 weeks

2009-06-03T10:25:00.003-05:00

Well last week was 18 weeks and I am feeling fine. I think I have felt the baby move some. In fact I know I felt it last night about 3 am as I was laying there waiting for Davis to wake up. This one is not as active as Davis was, I was already feeling Davis from the outside at this point. Jason says that is good, maybe it will have Garrett's personality. Davis has definitly been a challenge- good thing he is so cute!!

Things are going ok on the PKU front. His level was good this week, so we are keeping everything the same. I have started to try to introduce his formula in a sippy cup- he isn't so sure about it, mostly it just pisses him off. I think it comes out too fast. I am going to buy one of the straw ones today to see if he likes that any better. I think that is what I started Garrett out on. Katie, the dietician, says the earlier we get him on sippy cups of formula the better and easier it will be to get him off the bottle. I want him off the bottle by the time the baby comes, for sure!

I had a pretty sad day on Sunday thinking about PKU. On the message board that I read, I read some threads about what others are feeding their babies. It made me sad to think that Davis will never have any of that stuff and his whole life is going to be full of measuring out foods and reading labels and restriction. Then we went to 7-11 and the cashier gave my 5 year old a cookie. It made me really sad to think that we would have had to tell Davis no- he can't have that cookie. It sucks. Generally I try to have a good attitude about it because I KNOW things could be alot worse, but Sunday was just hard. I try to think of all the things he CAN have and how healthy he will be- but I was just down on Sun. I am sure I will have those days throughout his life. I can't dwell on the "can't haves", I need to focus on how LUCKY we are that he was diagnosed properly and how far the diet has come. I read an article that those that were not diagnosed (before newborn screening) were mentally retarded by a year of age... He is almost 8 months old, so he would be showing signs of brain damage already, if he hadn't been diagnosed. When you look at him and watch him interact with Garrett it is had to believe that things could be so different! Thank goodness for newborn screening!

PHE is good this week

2009-05-20T08:10:00.002-05:00

Davis' phe level was great this week. It was 2.0 (range is 2-6) so that means he is tolarating the baby food well. Last week he was getting 8 exchanges. This week we have bumped it up to 10 exchanges, which seems like a lot. He is getting 2 TBS of rice cereal and a stage 2 fruit for breakfast, a stage 2 fruit and veggie for lunch, and another stage 2 fruit and veggie for dinner. And he HAS to drink 24 oz of formula. He is turning into quite the chunk! His little thigh are getting little rolls in them. He is sitting and rolling like a champ. Not too close to crawling. He seems like he wants to get places, but can't figure out how to do it. I am not pushing it either because one he starts crawling, I have to figure out something do to do with all of Garrett' toys that have a million little choking hazards to them (legos...). He has gotten his two bottom teeth. Teething wasn't so bad, but he is always a bit fussy, so he wasn't any fussier than usual!

16 weeks

2009-05-18T19:47:00.002-05:00

Not much going on in the pregnancy world-waiting on movement.
Went to the Dr last week. Up 2 lbs. Everything else looked good. Set up sonogram for June 8. yay!

Davis is good, eating some fruits and veggie baby food. He is sleeping pretty well. He gets up around 5am for a bottle and then up for the day around 7.

10 weeks

2009-03-30T08:12:00.004-05:00

Here is the belly picture from 10 weeks. I think it is getting bigger, but not because of the baby. Because I can' quit eating!!! And all I eat is bready type stuff. I am feeling kinda nauseaus this morning, not bad at all-just a tiny bit.

I ordered a doppler this weekend. I guess I will get it later in the week. I wasn't going to do it, although I did it with both of my other pregnancies. But my next Dr appt. is still three weeks away, so I just need to make sure the little peanut is ok.

I am tired. Davis is sleeping horribly therefore making me very tired during the day.
We went to lunch with a friend of mine that has babies that are 14 months apart- all I have to say about it is that I am going to be VERY busy...

So can he have chicken???

2009-03-29T17:07:00.003-05:00

I get the strangest responses when I tell people that Davis has PKU and basically that means he can't have protein. I guess I am a fairly health consious person and I really put some thought into what I eat, but it just amazes me that people don't know what consitutes protein.

Can he have chicken, soy, how about salmon, nuts, fish? What about milk, cheese, yogurt?? Oh he can't have milk, can he have goat's milk??

It is just crazy to me that people don't know that all of these things are considered protein.

I understand people are shocked when I say he can't have regular bread or pasta because to me those things aren't protein, but flour has alot of phe in it- so he can't have anything with flour either.

It is just surprising how little people actually know about the foods that they are consuming.

Happy St. Patricks Day and Happy 5 months

2009-03-18T08:31:00.002-05:00

This was taken a few days after he turned 5 months, but he was grouchy on that day so I didn't get a good shot of him.

Things he can do: (or has stopped doing)

Has stopped sleeping through the night -sigh-
Can stand with support
Plays with his feet all the time
Is having fewer witching hour evenings
Has started rice cereal, although it is me poking it in his mouth and washing it down with formula-he has yet to enjoy it. Maybe when we start real food he will enjoy it more
When on his tummy he scrunches up his legs and pushes off, but just can't figure out how to make the top half of him move
He is getting more and more fun every day

Eight Week Belly

2009-03-18T08:25:00.003-05:00

Here is the eight week belly shot.
No new symptoms to report, in fact I am pretty much symptom free.
Next Dr. appt is April 17. We will do the nuchal screening. Hopefully at that sono they will be able to tell if its a boy or girl.
My cousin is due one month ahead of me, so it would be fun if they were the same sex-but who knows, I guess its a 50/50 chance.

It's all good!!

2009-03-13T16:17:00.002-05:00

We have one baby and one strong heartbeat!! Yay

Weight is 133, so I am 2 lbs lighter than at this point with Davis. This makes me feel great because I have not been running and eating pretty badly since I found out I was pregnant. Had I continued on like I was doing (not pregnant, of course) I would probably be in the 120's, which is my goal after this little one is born.

Heart rate was 140, which is about the same as Davis at this point.

Due date is October 26th. We will do a C-section either one week early if no previa or two weeks early if I have previa again.

We talked extensivly about banking the cord blood, which we did not do with either Davis or Garrett. But we will with this one. We talked about the possiblity of them (who is them??) finding a cure for PKU through stem cells. It is a no-brainer for us to bank it now. Who knows what the future holds as far as that goes, but we will be prepared should anything ever come up. I feel kinda guilty now for not banking the others. It really makes me wonder if the reason that this one was conceived so easily is because eventually we will be able to use the cord blood to "cure" Davis. Whew-heavy thought!!! I really pray that this can happen!

Nervous about tomorrow

2009-03-12T11:09:00.003-05:00

I have my first Dr. appt in 23 hours from now. I am so nervous that something is going to be wrong. I do not feel pregnant in any way. Jason assured me that I felt the exact same way with the other two, but I just don't know. At this point with Davis I had already had two sonograms and bloodwork, so I knew I was pregnant and it had a heartbeat. With Garrett I think I was too naive to think something could be wrong. With this one I know so much more and have read so many stories about empty sacs, fetus' that have stopped growing, etc... that it really makes me nervous. I really, really want this baby and hope that it is growing like it should be.

I guess we will see tomorrow at 10am-yikes!!!

Into the food journey

2009-03-11T11:46:00.003-05:00

Well I got word yesterday from Davis' dietician that we can start rice cereal. His Phe level was a bit low again (1.6) so instead of adjusting the formula recipe, she decided it was time to introduce cereal. He is to have 2 Tbs. of rice cereal a day in addition to his formula. We will do that for two weeks as his dietician is on vacation next week. In two weeks we will check his phe and, hopefully, add other foods. Two Tbs. of rice cereal is 2 exchanges. So he is having two exchanges at this point,the more exchanges he can tolerate the better. But we won't know how much he can tolerate until he is eating table food,so probably after a yr old. Unfortunatly that number doesn't really change much as they age,so what he is able to eat at two is the same amount he will be able to eat at twenty-two.

He didn't really seem to like the cereal- he just looked at me like "what is this?" and spit it back out. So we must practice!!!

Anyway I guess we are about to embark on the crazy world of feeding a PKU child. I think it is pretty much the same as a non-pku as far as baby foods go, just no meat baby food. Although I will have to start counting exchanges and keeping count of what he eats. From what I have heard Gerber is great about supplying the phe amounts in all of their foods- so that is what we will feed him only.

I have mixed feelings about starting food. I am excited, yet scared. Scared because this is when he becomes "special". We have already started adjusting our diets a bit. Garrett doesn't get chocolate chip pancakes anymore, instead he gets strawberry or blueberry pancakes. No more hot fudge sundaes at McDonalds-we willl come home and eat a popsicle or get a slurpee instead. We are TRYING to eat more fruits and veggies. This will be a learning experience for us all for sure!!

6 week belly picture and symptoms check

2009-03-01T08:07:00.003-06:00

Here is my 6 wk belly picture. Remember I am only 4.5 months post partum, so I still have a belly from that- LOL.

Symptoms:
Extreme thirst therefore excessive peeing
Insomnia at night, tired during the day
Very vivid dreams
Boobs hurt (maybe??)-they probably hurt from me pushing on them to see if they hurt

That is it-kinda freaks me out that I am not really feeling ANYTHING, I hope everything is ok with the little bean!

Insomnia

2009-02-27T21:54:00.002-06:00

I.
Can't.
Sleep!!!

It is horrible, I am up for hours during the night. I get up and watch TV 1-2 hours each and every night. I haven't been this tired since Davis was a little bitty newborn. I can't nap in the day either because I have two children I need to take care of and because if I nap during the day I think that will make sleep even more elusive.

I am feeling nervous about this pregnancy because I have no symptoms really. I mean I do have insomnia and I am tired, but that is it. My boobs aren't even sore. I keep poking them but they just aren't sore. My first Dr. appt isn't until Mar. 13. I am just a normal pregnant person with this one, so I don't get to have early sonograms like last time with the RE.

My friend that just did IVF found out she is having twins- yay!! I am so excited for her! We are due within days of each other, although I am sure hers will come early since there are two of them. It is going to be so fun to go through pregnancy with her. We have known each other since 8th grade. Of course this is her first pregnancy so I want it all to be about her. I will just give advice or comments when asked.

Jason is hunting this weekend so it is me and the boys by ourselves. I keep trying to imagine when he goes hunting next year I will have three little ones at home with me-- whew, makes me tired just thinking about it. But I can't wait!!! I am getting soooooo excited about this pregnancy

Told the parents

2009-02-24T20:50:00.002-06:00

They were shocked to say the least, but excited! They could not understand how it took so long and we went through so much with the other two and this one just happened.

I am waiting to tell friends until after the first sonogram-just in case.

But I am really getting excited! Life is going to be so crazy for the first year or so I am sure, but we will get through it. All I can think about is how much fun we are going to have.

I secretly wanted this to happen, never in a million years did I think that it would but I really wanted an "oops" third child.

I am beat today- so tired and sooooo thirsty. I have probably had a gallon of water today.

Davis' phe was low today for the second week in a row. It was 0.9, so we have changed the recipe-- less of the PKU formula so maybe it will be a little easier on his tummy.

Well- good night- it is 9pm and I am tired so I am going to bed...

I am scared to tell my Mom

2009-02-20T11:31:00.002-06:00

I feel like I am 15 and unmarried and knocked up, I am really nervous to tell my Mom.
I mean it is silly to feel this way. I am happily married, can take care of 3 children financially, have a house (although we probably need to move to a 4brm house)--but still I can't help it- I feel nervous.

I am sure they are going to wonder why in the world we would let this happen having just had a child with PKU. But here is the way I look at it... first there is a one in four chance this child will have PKU and a 3 in 4 chance it WILL NOT. So odds are in our favor there- but if he/she does have PKU then that will give Davis someone to commiserate with. I have read lots of stories that adults with PKU wished they had a sibling with it as well to go through it with.

I will feel bad for this child if it has PKU, but I will feel bad for Davis if it doesn't. He will be the only one with the different diet. I guess there is no sense of worrying about it now- at this point it either has it or it doesn't.

Still in SHOCK! I feel hungover today. I am going to make myself go for a walk when Davis wakes up. Literally I could sit on the couch all day. I didn't sleep well last night though. I went to bed at 10pm, woke up-wide awake at 11:30. Got up and watched The Lakehouse until about 1:30am. Fell asleep around 2am. Davis woke up at 3am, went in and re-swaddled him and stuck his paci in his mouth. Then I couldn't fall back asleep. I think I finally went back to sleep around 4:30am, then up at 7am-Whew-
Guess I better get used to getting up in the night again. Davis started sleeping through the night about 8-9 weeks, so hopefully this little one will do the same...

February 19- Deja Vu

2009-02-19T17:54:00.003-06:00

So last year on February 19, our 8th wedding anniversary, we tested positive with Davis.

Today on February 19, our 9th wedding anniversary, we TESTED POSITIVE WITH OUR THIRD CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy Shit is all I can say.

Eighteen months to get pregnant with Garrett.
Two years plus IVF to get pregnant with Davis.
One month to get pregnant with the third.

Were we trying? Not really- but not preventing- who would have thought after all we had been through to have our two boys that we would get pregnant so easily.

Davis and the baby will be ONE year apart. I am due October 28. I was due on Oct 31 with Davis. I am living a deja vu!!!

Four Months Old

2009-02-16T18:22:00.007-06:00

Well Davis turned four months yesterday (will post picture as soon as I download of camera). What a crazy four months it has been...

Things he can do:
Roll from stomach to back
Giggle
Suck on hands
Grab and hold on to things
Sleeps through the night
Can bring the house down with his screams
Track you with his eyes all the way across the house

I swear I think he is getting teeth. Everyone thinks I am crazy, but when he is in one of his full on screaming fits you can see two little slits on the bottom gum. I bet within a month he is cutting teeth... Maybe that explains the grouchiness-- LOL

We went to the Ped today. He weighed 14lbs 10oz (50%) and was 25 3/4 inches (75%)and he has a big noggin-(89%). We will not be starting food yet. That will probably be next month. The PKU doctor is in charge of his food and food schedule and we go to clinic next month so I am assuming that is when they will give us the go ahead.

I am participating in an event called Texas Tough that benefits Children's Hospital and specifically the PKU dept. It is a run, bike and swim event held on different days throughout the year. The run (5K) is coming up in March. I have already raised $2500 for the PKU dept. Team PKU's goal is $50,000. I feel so lucky to be part of such a great group!
It is nice to know that someone cares about your child! I met a girl, Sarah, down at the lab when he was first diagnosed. Her daughter is a couple of months older and also has PKU. She and her husband have hit the ground running with the diagnosis. They organized Team PKU for the 2008 Texas Tough bike event and raised $17,000. They have also formed the PKU Foundation. I feel very lucky to have met them. I think we will be close friends over the years to come

Whew-what a difference a week makes

2009-02-04T09:29:00.002-06:00

Phe level this week.... 4.9, so within range-- yippee!
It made me so excited to hear this after having two weeks of high level! And to top it off it was a beautiful day here (upper 60's) and sunny. What a great day It is funny how that little number can affect my whole outlook-this week it is good.

Tonight I am going out with some friends that I have met through Garrett's school. Margaritas are always fun :) and talking with new friends is too.

My friend, Suzanna, is doing her transfer today- so thoughts are with her! I am as anxious for her to get pregnant as I was myself. It is funny because my transfer was Feb. 13 last year so her due date will be very near Davis' birthday since he was born 2.5 weeks early. Oh- I so hope this is it for her!!!

I feel lucky

2009-01-30T19:11:00.006-06:00

I feel so lucky to have PKU in this day and age. I just read an article that said they started testing people in mental institutions in the 1960's when they came up with the test for PKU and over half of all people in institutions had PKU.
Can you imagine???

How lucky are we that we live in a day that my son's PKU was diagnosed 9 days after birth? Of course it isn't the greatest diagnosis-- but still it was diagnosed.
Without the PKU test we would be facing a life with a very mentally disabled child.
It is so manageable by diet that he will grow up to be fine.

I have my bad days for sure--- but mostly I am so thankful that we know what we are up against and all it takes is a dietary change.

Thanks be to God for the newborn screening!!!

I have stumbled upon this blog from another that I read.
My heart is breaking for this family. Here I am worried about what my child will eat and this family is dealing with childhood cancer and most likely the death of their daughter.. My thoughts and prayers are with them. Please say a prayer for them and their sweet daughter

How long is "a while"?

2009-01-26T17:35:00.002-06:00

Davis' phe level was high again this week-13.6, so we are adjusting the formula recipe to bring it down.

But my question is this.... how long is a "while"? That is the answer I get when I ask about brain damage. His level has to be high for a while for that to happen. But noone can seem to tell me how long that is. I feel certain it is longer than two weeks (which is how long it has been too high) but how much longer is it.

I know they can't tell me an exact timeframe and I am sure it differs from person to person but I just wish I had something more definite. Something to make me feel like I am not causing my child brain damage...sigh...

"Goodlooking eyes and magic ears"

2009-01-26T13:38:00.002-06:00

Garrett is so funny. He and Jason were on a walk yesterday and they were talking about the trolls that live in the creek by our house. Garrett said "oh I see them with my good-looking eyes". Laughing Jason asked him if he meant that his eyes were pretty and Garrett said "no-I can see good out of them, they are good looking eyes".

Then this morning I asked him if he heard Davis cry in the middle of the night. He told me that he didn't because he has magic ears and they turn themselves off in the night so Davis doesn't wake him up. Hmmm Jason must have the same magic ears because he doesn't hear Davis either...

What a sweet big bro.

2009-01-22T14:08:00.001-06:00

Garrett is the sweetest. When I was pregnant with him I went to one of those paint your own pottery places and painted him an airplane piggy bank. Well last week he told me that he wanted to make one for Davis. So I searched on the internet and found one near our house. We went last week and he painted a robot piggy bank for his little brother. We picked it up yesterday and he brought some change from his piggy bank to put in Davis'. What a sweetie!!! I just love him to pieces

The witching hour

2009-01-21T09:29:00.008-06:00

This sums up what the evening hours look like around our house. Davis gets a bit fussy in the evenings. I have started putting him down for a nap around 5pm, hoping he will sleep through it- sometimes it works and sometimes not...

He rolled over!!!

2009-01-21T09:12:00.005-06:00

Davis rolled over today during tummy time. Yay!! He also hit his head on the hard plastic side of his little mat, so he cried too. It is ironic that he rolled over today because we quit swaddling him last night because he kept getting his little leg out and because he is getting to the age where he should start rolling and today he did.

His phe level was high this week- 13.4, but the dietitian thinks it is because I fed him a bottle while we were waiting for blood draw-so I am to continue on the same recipe and we will see next week. He is not at all fussy like he was a few weeks ago when it was 15, so I think he most definitely had a little virus or something.

On another note, Garrett has learned how to dial my phone number. He spent the night at Mimi's last night and he has called me about 100 times. He is so funny because he gets mad if I answer it-he just wants to leave messages. This morning I got a message that said "Mommy- I wonder what Davis and Daddy are doing?? I hope Daddy doesn't have to go to work because I want to play with him today." How sweet is that! Too bad Daddy had to go to work.

Hope for PKU

2009-01-15T21:32:00.002-06:00

I just received an article today that has given me hope in dealing with this...

There is a drug about to undergo clinical trials that has worked in mice. It is an injection and it made their Phe levels totally normal.

I am sure it is a long way off from getting FDA approved-- but just to know someone out there is working on something that may help my child is so encouraging. It makes me really thankful for all of the people that I don't even know that are working on something that will affect my family. Wow!

We went to a fundraiser dinner tonight for Garrett's school and a local hamburger joint. What will Davis eat there in a few years... nothing- oh maybe a fruit cup or applesauce. Not fair! Why him?? Why can't I be the one affected. He is so innocent and has no idea what is in store for him. Of course I will try to make his diet as "normal" as possible- but how normal can it be? It makes me so sad to think about it, especially when I see him smiling. He is so happy now. I really dread starting food. It is funny-with Garrett I couldn't wait to start rice cereal and baby food. I am dreading starting food with Davis. To me it marks the beginning of a whole different life- for him, for me, for all of us.

I will do whatever I can for that little boy. I will make his childhood as normal as can be. I will cook low protein foods and buy whatever I can so that he can enjoy food like the rest of us.

But for now, I hold onto HOPE that by the time he is 5 or 10 yrs old there will be something to allow him to eat a normal diet and he will never remember being any different.

I'm back

2009-01-14T08:37:00.003-06:00

WOW-- it has been a while since my last post. The pregnancy went along pretty uneventful, except I had placenta previa. C-Sections are required when there is a previa, obviously, because the placenta is blocking the escape hatch. The C-section was pretty easy, recovery was easy and breast-feeding was just starting to click.

Davis Merrill W. was born on October 13, 2008 at 7:37am. He was 6 lbs 7 oz and 18 inches long. He is absolutely adorable!

Then... we got the call...

Our pediatricians office called to say that Davis had had an abnormal result on his newborn screening and that we needed to take him down to Children's Hospital and have it redone. His phenylalanine level was high, possibly indicating PKU. I had heard of PKU and new a little about it. I knew enough about it that I knew it was not good. I called my husband in tears, who was working an hour and half away, and he decided to come home immediately. I was at my Mom's house- so me, Davis, my Mom and Garrett headed down to Children's for the diagnosis that would change our lives!

It was confirmed the next day that he did have PKU.

What is PKU??? His body lacks an enzyme that is responsible for converting Phenylalanine (Phe)into Tyrosine. When high levels of Phe build up in the body, it becomes toxic to the brain-causing brain damage and mental retardation, among other things. Phenylalanine is found mostly in foods containing high amounts of protein. The Phe levels can be controlled by diet and he can maintain a normal life by following a very strict diet. The diet consists of a formula that he will have to drink for the rest of his life. This provides all of the nutrients and vitamins and calories that he can't get from food. His diet will consist of mainly fruits and vegetables. He will never have any protein (animal or plant) and starches may be eaten in moderation. Imagine a child going through life with no chicken nuggets, pizza, ice cream, corn dog, etc...

It really sucks- I know it could be worse- but it is pretty bad. It is something that he will have to deal with his whole life. I really worry about how he will be treated in Jr. High when kids are so cruel. And in college when he can't drink beer. And at birthday parties when he can't eat pizza at Chuck E Cheese or have cake and ice cream. And when he goes over to friends' houses to play and he has to bring his own food. I still cry when I think about those things and how different his childhood will be due to his diet.

We have to go down to Children's weekly for blood draws to make sure his Phe level is between 2-6. Over 6 is too high and could cause brain damage, below 2 is too low and could cause him not to grow. This week we were at .7- so we have changed his formula recipe to get it up. Two weeks ago it was 15 and I freaked out! Of course the level has to be high for a period of time to cause brain damage, but that is all I could think about.
Anyway when we go down to Children's I see kiddos that are worse off than him. It makes me feel bad to be sad about his diagnosis because it could be worse. I know that. But still no one wants something to be wrong with their child, no one wants their child to be different.

So that is where we are now- dealing with PKU. This blog will probably mostly focus on the dealings of PKU and the diet.

Brief update and so long...

2008-04-29T16:24:00.000-05:00

Things are progressing nicely. I am 13w4d so officially into the second trimester!
I feel great! I think I had some weird hormonal things going on during first tri- not depression, but just cloudy- if that makes sense?!?- With all of the anxiety I guess I just wasn't as excited as I should have been. I don't know how to explain it.
But it seems the cloud has lifted with the beginning of the second tri and all is great!

I probably won't be blogging much more- this blog was about my "quest" to become pregnant and I have (finally) achieved that.

At this point I don't feel like I want to start a new one about the pregnancy or life after it- but I may at some point in the future.

I guess the time as come to say "so long" to Christy's Quest.

Good luck to anyone that reads this blog on your own Quest!

Everything appears to be ok

2008-03-25T11:37:00.000-05:00

Had follow up u/s last week. Baby is still measuring small but it has grown the proper amount in that week. Its sweet little heartrate was 140, RE said anything over 120 was good RE is pleased and is releasing me to OB. I go in to see OB on Thursday so hopefully from here on out this is a very smooth-sailing pregnancy!!

U/S update-

2008-03-11T15:22:00.000-05:00

Good news: One baby, one heartbeat, good place in the uterus

Not so good news: Measuring 3 days smaller then should be. RE said this is right on the cusp of normal so I go back in one week to monitor growth. He can't tell at this point if it is behind because it is just a little slow or if it is because it is stopping- but we should be able to tell next week- so here we go again---waiting...

I am concerned because with the "slower" beta and now the "slower" growth things don't seem to be stacked in my favor.

This just doesn't seem fair-- why can't anything be easy with this pregnancy??

Well I am going to worry about it today only and then turn it over to God. This little punkin is a FIGHTER and I need to have faith in it and in God! That is all I can do!!!

FREAKING OUT

2008-03-11T12:27:00.001-05:00

U/S is in one hour... I have been so calm up to this point about the u/s and the beta numbers but now I am so nervous I could throw up...
I have been pregnant for 3 weeks now--I hope I am still pregnant after the appointment. I am so worried there isn't going to be a heartbeat or it isn't growing properly or whatever--- so many things to worry about!

Please oh please let everything be ok.

I am taking my Mom with me for moral support-Jason can't go as he is out of town...

Snow in Dallas

2008-03-04T10:13:00.000-06:00

Well- if you really want to call it that. It was more like ice but when we woke up this morning there it was on our cars and grass and roof. It didn't even stick enough to make schools open late, but it was still fun for Garrett to see it.

He made a snowball and threw it and he ate some of it. Here is a picture of his first snowball (maybe if I can figure out how to do it)

Finally over the FLU

2008-02-29T12:03:00.001-06:00

Wow- it has been about 10 days getting over this flu- It SUCKED! Finally today I can breathe and I actually want to eat. I guess because I have been so congested that the thought of eating made me want to gag. Mostly it was bread type stuff and anything that was dry. Of course I forced myself to eat because of lil pumpkin but everything just tasted horrible. Today I am going to Pei Wei for lunch and get something spicy to try to clear out the last bit of congestion.

Not much going on in the way of symptoms...BBs are a little sore, not too bad.
I think Jason would say that I have been a little moodier :).
I am definetly more tired in the evenings but I can't tell if that is because of lil pumpkin or just from being sick. Probably a combination of both.
The main thing that sticks out is THIRST! I remember being thirsty with Garrett, but I can't remember if it was this bad. I guess that is my body's way of staying hydrated!

I am not thinking about the "slower" beta. I am just going on with life as if I never had that result and that everything is just fine. I am enjoying every moment of this pregnancy. It took so long for us to get here and this will (probably) be my last pregnancy so I am just savoring every moment and not letting worry get to me.
I really do believe deep down that it is going to be ok. Can't wait to see the lil pumpkin on the 12th during the ultrasound though-just to make sure!

I bought a pregnancy journal this past weekend-it has places in it to record your weight and waist size throughout the pregnancy. I measured my waist and then got curious what my waist size was with Garrett. So I opened up the journal that I kept when pregnant with him to compare the sizes. I WAS 5 MONTHS PREGNANT before my waist was the size it is now. GEEZ, can you say I have put on a few pounds...In fact at my current weight I am only 5 lbs. less than I was when I GAVE BIRTH last time. Granted I only gained 20lbs with Garrett, but still I am 15lbs heavier going into this pregnancy than I was last time. Kind of depressing- but oh well- I can worry about it after lil pumpkin has made its debut in October...

Beta #2

2008-02-27T16:49:00.000-06:00

Well the results are in:
385

Good but not doubling every 48 hrs. more like 54 hours. Everything I have read says as long as it is 48-72 hours it is fine. Dr didn't seem too concerned. They did not order a repeat beta just scheduled me to come in a few days early for my u/s.

I am trying not to read too much into this- I really do believe it is fine- but just having that tiny bit of doubt sucks! And u/s isn't for 2 more weeks so here we go back to the 2 week wait...

No sticks to pee on

2008-02-25T09:19:00.000-06:00

Well today is the first day since last Monday that I haven't peed on a stick. I am out of pg tests. I had an OPK that I thought about peeing on because I have heard about people using them as pg tests. But then I decided not to because they do not even measure the same hormone so why would someone use them as a pg test?! I might do it tomorrow just to see what happens.

I tried to buy more pg tests yesterday but Jason told me NO!! I had already used 8 and gotten the results of my Beta- I am indeed pregnant! But I still want the satisfaction of seeing those 2 beautiful lines.

Maybe I will go buy one today that says "pregnant"- just so I can take a picture to put in the baby book.

Beta #1

2008-02-24T11:52:00.000-06:00

Well the nurse called today (Sunday) and told me that my beta was 114 Yea!! Progesterone and Estrogen were normal also
We were at a restaurant having breakfast when she called and I started crying, what a relief
I asked about the spotting and she said it was normal and not to worry about it unless it starts coming out like a period (yeah right, how can I not worry)
So once again I am cautiously optomistic. Beta #2 is on Tuesday. We will see what Tuesday brings.

I just HATE this spotting!!

blood test, spotting, flu etc...

2008-02-23T09:49:00.000-06:00

Well I had my blood test yesterday and I am not going to get the results back until Monday- ARG!! That wouldn't have been a big deal since the HPT are getting darker, but I have started spotting. Started spotting yesterday. I called the Dr office and the nurse asked me what color it was and it was (is) pink and she said that is normal.
Of course I have googled and have found many stories where women spotted and have normal pregnancies and just as many that don't. So I don't know, I am thinking this is not a good thing since I always spot before I get AF. I guess we will know more on Monday when I get the results back.
It just sucks to have gone through all of this-all of the shots, ultrasounds, blood draws, medications etc., and it not work. I would have rather had negative HPT then to have postive ones and then something happen to it.

Also I have the flu-I went to the doc yesterday and because I was (am) pregnant I can't take tamiflu so I have to just suffer through it. I am feeling much better today though, I think my fever broke yesterday so if I could just get rid of all the congestion I would be better.

I guess we will see what the results are on Monday but I am not holding on to much hope for this pregnancy to stick.

Well...

2008-02-20T14:14:00.000-06:00

I have tested two more times since my last post. One yesterday afternoon after holding my pee for 5 hours and the line was there, very faint but there.

So I was able to tell Jason the way I had wanted to. I bought an anniversary card and in the card I wrote the poem that I blogged about yesterday. He looked up and said "what does this mean?" Of course I was crying already and so he knew. He started crying and gave me a big hug. What a great anniversary!

Then I couldn't sleep so I got up at 4am and tested and the line was there and DARKER! So I am very cautiously optomistic!!!

We will see what Beta holds for us on Friday, hopefully HIGH numbers...

I am the crabbiest, moodiest person in the world right now. Everything makes me want to either cry or tear someone's head off. I keep telling myself that it is because I have a crazy amount of hormones flying around in my body right now!

Anyway I am happy and very thankful that I found the insurance to cover the IVF--because without it I probably wouldn't be pg!! What a roller coaster!

Funny thing about the hpt this morning

2008-02-19T13:16:00.001-06:00

I can't find it...
Of course I was carrying it through the house looking at it in different lights (as all of us poas-aholics do) and I think I set it down somewhere and I can't remember for the life of me...

It is not in the trash, I went through it (gross) and I have searched everywhere.

Funny part is that we have a babysitter coming tonight and I am worried that she is going to find it somewhere random-like in the fridge or something--who knows.

At least that will add a little humor about the situation...

Is it a line?!?

2008-02-19T09:19:00.000-06:00

Well I tested again this morning because I thought it would be really cool to tell Jason tonight when we are at dinner for our anniversary--8 yrs--.

I THINK I saw something on an internet cheapie... it was oh so light, maybe an evaporation line--I just don't know?!? But it was enough to restore my hope. I am going to buy a FRER tonight and test again before we go out to dinner. I have dreamed up this fun way to tell Jason if it is bfp. I am going to get him an anniversary card and give it to him at dinner. In the card I will write this little poem I made up... at the end of the poem it says:

"I am going to tell you a secret that only you and I know, but we have to tell people before I start to show.
Yes that's right, Garrett's going to be a big brother, our time has finally come to have another"

I know I am not the world's best poet-- ha! but I think it is a cute way to tell him
I hope and pray that I can spill the beans tonight!

Now I am off to research evaporation lines...

Well I tested

2008-02-18T09:51:00.000-06:00

BFN...

I know it is really early 5dp5dt but that equals out to 10dpo- so I thought maybe.
Strangely I am not that upset by it-I guess because it is still early and there is still a chance.

Not feeling any symptoms AT ALL, boobs aren't even sore anymore.
I am not holding out much hope for this cycle working. I am already thinking about next cycle. Not very positive thinking I know-but that is how I feel.

Anyway I have to day off of work today so I am going to enjoy the beautiful weather and hang out with Garrett-he always makes me smile!

one week wait

2008-02-15T10:38:00.000-06:00

Well-I am down to the one week wait- Beta is one week from today...

It is so weird that during IVF the embryos are not even inside of you for part of the two week wait. Two week wait starts at retrieval so for 3-5 days you are "in" the two week wait, but you KNOW that you have nothing growing inside of you.

So technically I only have a "9 day wait" this cycle (the time from transfer to beta). Still it is going by so slowly though!

PIO shots are starting to hurt. They didn't hurt the first couple of days, but now they are. Wonder why?? I guess because we are running out of room on the fat places of my bum :)

Transfer complete--PUPO

2008-02-14T16:35:00.001-06:00

Well transfer is complete and I am finally off the 24 hr bedrest. That was the worst part, I am not a bed rest type of girl so I was really ready to get out of the house this afternoon.

Transfer was easy- tranferred two very good quality blasts so now we wait...
Beta is scheduled for next Friday (22nd), but I am pretty certain I will test before then--just can't decide when...maybe on the 19th that is my 8th anniversary so that would be a cool anniversary present-but on the other hand it would make me really sad if it was neg.

Of course I have "googled" when other people test and some get bfp 4 or 5 days after 5dt. The 19th would be 6dpt so maybe it would show up?!? Decisions, Decisions...

ET rescheduled

2008-02-11T08:43:00.000-06:00

Well, well-- the kiddos are growing so well they have rescheduled me to Wednesday, which will be a 5 day transfer
We have 2 at 10 cells, 2 at 8 cells and one poor little one at 2 cells.
At this point they should be at 8 cells so we have four that are EXCELLENT!!

I am so relieved-I know that many many people get pg with a 3dt, I researched it alot this weekend- but for me I really wanted to try to grow them out to 5 day so that we could pick the strongest- and yea!! we get to wait until 5 day

Also I have this major issue at work- I made a HUGE mistake that needs to be dealt with asap and now this gives me time to deal with it. I am very thankful because I have been VERY stressed about it and I was worried that the stress might harm the eggies. Now I have time to deal with it today and tomorrow and then I can (hopefully) be stress free on Wednesday and Thursday.

UPDATE:
I dealt with the issue at work- turns out it isn't my fault AT ALL and that there isn't even an issue-just an oversight on someone else's part that made me look very bad. But once the mistake of the other person is corrected then everything is fine.
THANK GOODNESS!!! I guess I should have dealt with it last week and then I wouldn't have spent the whole weekend worrying about it.

I have 5 children growing in a petri dish

2008-02-09T16:34:00.000-06:00

That is weird!! Five of Eight eggs fertilized. Not bad I suppose.
I guess because we have "fewer" eggs, RE and embryologist decided to do a 3 day transfer- so transfer is on Monday at 12:15- then bedrest for 24 hours and then back to business as usual.

I am NOT going to obsess about symptoms this time since I know that the PIO causes them-

I am sure I will POAS before beta- well for sure I want to do it that morning bc I would rather find out that way if it is negative then by a nurse calling me.
But when will I start POAS??? I don't know- I want to wait as long as possible--maybe (doubtfully) I will hold out until beta day on the 22nd. Whew- that is a LONG time away!!

Well I am off to enjoy the beautiful weather-- it is probably 80 degrees today--

Keeping fingers and toes crossed that we have some great embies on Monday

More on the rabbits from this morning

2008-02-08T16:40:00.000-06:00

OK- so of course I am sitting here, bored at work and decide to start researching rabbits and what they represent.
Turns out they represent FERTILITY-- Read this from wikipedia:

A fertility symbol is an object used by early historical human societies representing fertility. These symbols took on several different forms.
For example, some fertility symbols took on the appearance of a rotund human female as obesity was seen as attractive in times when food was scarce. Also, certain animals that reproduce often have been viewed as fertility symbols, such as frogs and rabbits.

And from another website:

Because of its fertility (one doe can produce 42 young a year), the rabbit or hare is an emblem of fertility, abundance, good fortune, sexuality, lasciviousness, lust, procreation, puberty, renewal, spring, rampant growth, excess, and love gods and goddesses such as Venus, Aphrodite, and Cupid. Pliny the Elder even prescribed its meat as a cure for female sterility.

I am freaking out!! I totally believe in signs and I hope seeing the two rabbits this morning was a sign of good things to come!!

ER completed

2008-02-08T12:12:00.001-06:00

ER is complete-- 9 follies going into it and got 8 eggs so I am pleased.
Of course we won't know how many were mature or how many fertilized until tomorrow- hopefully ALL of them did.

The procedure was really easy, I am actually back at work already.

One thing funny (and a bit embarrassing) happened: Jason told me as I was waking up in my recovery room- I told the Dr "don't worry, I have been like this before although usually it is alcohol induced"-- I am embarrassed to have to see him in a few days. But I am sure he has heard worse.

So now we wait...fert report tomorrow and then the decision to do 3 or 5 day transfer.

Oh- as we were walking into the clinic we saw 2 little bunnies hopping around- I take this as a good sign since we all know easily rabbits reproduce:)

ER is scheduled

2008-02-06T09:18:00.000-06:00

We are set for Friday!! Of course this is the WORST possible day it could have happened work-wise for Jason and myself- but I am not going to worry about it at this point- nothing I can do and I can't change it so why worry?!? I just hope we both have a job after :)

Anyway lining is 9mm. Ten follies ranging from 22mm down to 7mm. Obviously the smaller ones won't mature. The nurse said she thought we were looking at having 6-7 mature ones. So that is good, gives us a few to work with.

The best part is NO MORE REPRONEX (hopefully forever). My skin and that medication did not like each other AT ALL! My stomach looks like I have huge hives all over it. It is pretty gross looking-but hopefully all of the redness and swelling will go down since I am finished with it.

I do trigger tonight (not sure about time yet) and then go in Friday morning for ER.
3-5 days later is ET.

The nurse drew big bulls eyes on my booty to give us a target for the progesterone shots-- ha ha! Jason should have fun with that.

UPDATE: ER is scheduled for 7:30am on Friday

One more thought- I just went back and looked at all of the predictions I have gotten over the past. One of the (Cheri-from Web MD) predicted February and Girl-yippee! Please oh please let her be right!!!

U/S update

2008-02-04T11:58:00.001-06:00

Had another appointment with the cooter cam this morning (that is what DH and I have decided to start calling the u/s wand) and I have another late follie that decided to show up-- yea!!!

So I had 9 follies ranging from 17mm to 11mm and lining was at 8. I am pleased that a new one decided to pop up!!

Had blood drawn as well and am waiting the call from the Dr. about whether or not to adjust meds. I have now added in a 3rd shot called Ganirelix. This prevents premature ovulation.

I think ER will probably be Thurs or Friday. I am getting nervous about work- I haven't exactly told my boss everything that is going on- I have told her that I am seeing an RE and that I am taking large doses of hormones to try to produce many eggs. But I haven't told her about doing IVf and the time off I will need for ET/ER She is planning on being off on Friday and so I am going to have to fake a sick day. She and I really shouldn't be out on the same day... but I really don't have a choice if ER ends up being on Friday. Then to top it off we have numerous closings that are supposed to take place next week--when I will need off 2 days for ET. Hopefully those won't close though...

On another note we had fun at my friend's house watching the Superbowl. It was nice to get out and around friends. We have been staying home alot because going out with friends usually involves drinking and since I am not drinking being around drunk people isn't as much fun. But it was great to see everyone and it was great to wake up this morning with NO HANGOVER!! What a great game-- I wanted the Giants to win- mostly because they were the underdog.

UPDATE:
Just heard from the Dr. office. I am to stay on the same dosage of Follistim and Repronex, but up the dose from 1/2 to whole of the Ganirelix. (This is probably to slow the 17mm follie down so the others can catch up). Go back in on Wed for cooter cam and bloodwork. I guess I find out then whether ER will be on Friday or over the weekend...

First Follie check

2008-02-01T08:56:00.000-06:00

Had my first follie check yesterday. I had four on the right ranging from 7.5mm to 5.5mm and four on the left ranging from 9mm to 7mm. So eight total so far, ultrasound tech said more may pop up, they may just be too small to see at this point.

So I am to continue the same amount of meds and go back tomorrow for another check.

I was a bit discouraged at only having 8, but I am very happy to have those 8. Some women only get 2 or 3- so I think 8 is a great start!! But hopefully there will be a few more in there tomorrow.

The nurse said we are looking good as long as they all stay together around the same size.

More tomorrow...

Started Stims

2008-01-28T16:28:00.000-06:00

I started this whole crazy process last night.
300 units of Follistim (easy, this is what I was on last time) and
150 IU of Repronex (OUCH- I have a huge red welt on my stomach from this)-- not looking forward to 10 days of this.
Maybe I will stim fast and I won't have to do it for 10 days.

Gotta keep my eye on the prize.

Let the games begin

2008-01-24T09:19:00.000-06:00

So I took my last BCP last night and go to the Dr. tomorrow for b/w and u/s. They will give me the injectible schedule at that point.

I am glad to be off the pill, I think it has made me really emotional. I felt depressed almost yesterday and again today. Has to be the pill.

I am sure the huge doses of hormones that I am about to inject myself with are not going to help with the emotions. But I just have to get through the next few weeks and will hopefully be pregnant. Gotta keep my eye on the prize!!

We had our IVF orientation at the hospital last night. Some of the questions people asked amazed me. I don't know how people got this far into IVF without knowing that information. I feel very well informed, but I do alot of research on it- I guess some people don't-

Anyway more news tomorrow after the Dr. appt. Ready to get this ball rollin!!

More good news

2008-01-16T16:18:00.000-06:00

What a great week this has been!! First we get approved to go ahead and to IVF and then today DH just got a pretty significant raise and he got promoted to manager.

He does leasing for an oil and gas company-- well today two different managers asked that he be moved over to their team because he was such an asset.

The main manager decided since he was so "sought after" that he should get a promotion so he got promoted to manager. He has his own crew that will work under him now.

This is amazing since he has only been doing this for 1 year. Just proves that hard work DOES pay off!

We have had such a good week this week, I hope the good news continues to roll in!!

Wow- starting IVF

2008-01-16T09:16:00.000-06:00

I can't believe this!! Monday when AF showed I got a call from my insurance that I did not have to do another IUI cycle- I could move on to IVF if I wanted to.

So I called Jason to make sure that we had the money at the moment to cover the medicine. He said "Call the Dr and get going- I will find the money." (very sweet)

Anyway I called the RE to see if I could start this cycle and he said yes-

So I have started BCP, will be on them for 10 days. Go in for u/s on Jan. 25 and then I guess start stims at that point. Dr. said about 10 days of stims, then trigger shot. 36 hours later Egg retrieval and 5 days later transfer them back in.

He will put back in two embryos, so there is a possibility of twins-- but we will just cross that bridge when we come to it. At this point I am taking things day to day because I know once I start the stim shots it is going to fly by (until the 2ww)

OMG- I am overwhelmed!! I am very excited but nervous as well. I can't believe I have gotten to this point. I never thought this would happen, well it wouldn't have had I not checked and re-checked for the IVF coverage.

I have had a feeling all along that the second cycle with this RE will be the lucky one-and this is the second cycle. Hopefully my intuition is right!!

Ugh--BFN

2008-01-14T09:20:00.000-06:00

This was not our lucky month. AF came today-right on time.

Onto inj/IUI cycle number two. I have sent in all of the paper work to get approved for IVF- so hopefully if this isn't our lucky cycle things will be in order and we can get started on IVF in mid-Feb.

I never in a million years would have thought I would be facing IVF in a month.
Well actually I never would be doing it had we not gotten the insurance coverage that we did- I am very lucky to have such coverage!!

Insurance calculations

2008-01-08T15:41:00.000-06:00

Here is an example of how screwed up the whole health care/insurance industry is.

I went through and added up all of my claims on my insurance for IF related stuff.
The grand total that the insurance has been charged (or what I would have been charged had I not had insurance) is $15,188.95. WOW

The total they have actually paid (since they have agreed prices with the Dr.) is $6276.93.

That is less that half of what I would have paid had I been self pay.

I think that is so unfair. I mean the people without insurance usually can not afford insurance yet they are being charged the most for the services that they are receiving.

And another thing that really upsets me about insurance, at least here in Texas, is that none of the private policies really cover maternity. Meaning if I am self-employed and just pay my insurance privately, maternity will be MINIMALLY covered at best. Hopefully things have changed since I was looking into it 4+ years ago, but back then there was ONE company that covered maternity and that was if you had been with them a year and only up to $3000. THAT IS IT. So I guess mid-income self employed women either have to pay their own pre-natal care or they just don't get it.
We had to pay for our own care, even though we had insurance. The policy didn't cover maternity.

I don't know what the answer is to fix the problem, but something needs to be done about it. I hope whoever gets elected President will be able to, at least, get a plan started to turn this around.

I just don't understand...

Halfway through the 2WT

2008-01-08T09:00:00.000-06:00

We are half way there. I went in this morning for Estrogen and Progesterone tests. They said they would call me if I needed to increase or decrease meds. If I heard nothing from them everything was fine.

I kinda wanted to know the numbers but I do know that they will be skewed because I am on supplements and I do know that even if they are high it doesn't mean that I am pg. So I guess it is best for me not to know- one less thing to stress about right?!?

They said to take a pg test on the 14th and call them if positive. If negative stop meds and call them on cd 1. I expected that they would want to do a beta either way, but at least this way is saving me the $30 copay I guess.

Monday is so far away...

The inlaws are coming this weekend to visit so at least it will be a busy weekend to keep my mind off of it.

Will I test before Monday?? Probably! It would be fun to tell both sets of Grandparents on Sat night when we all go out to dinner. Maybe, just maybe that will happen.

We have our fingers crossed...

Funny thought

2008-01-04T16:31:00.000-06:00

I was just reading on an IF support group. A girl on there was asking all kinds of questions about her DH having to give a "sample". She was embarrassed and said he was embarrassed...

So the other ladies on there were giving her support and telling her it wasn't that bad and some things to bring to make it easier for him to "perform"

One of the suggestions was a LAMP in case the room didn't have soft lighting.
A lamp? Really?
Can you see a man sitting in the waiting room with a lamp?

I really got a kick out of that response. I wonder if he brought a lamp with him??!!

IUI complete

2007-12-31T11:44:00.000-06:00

Ok IUI is complete. RE said the "sample" was great and that everything looked good.
I wished I would have gotten another ultrasound or something but didn't- just the IUI.

I need to start Prog. and Estrace tomorrow.

Don't know about follow up- I think I will need a prog test in about a week, but my RE wasn't there, it was the on-call Dr. I will call on Wednesday to find out what the next step is.

Jason and I are going to the hockey game tonight to ring in the New Year. Should be alot of fun. The city of Dallas is putting on a big party at Victory Park, which is where the Stars play, complete with fireworks and everything. Driving home scares me a bit- but I am the designated driver so it should be fine.

Happy New Year!! Hopefully 2008 will bring a BABY!

We've TRIGGERED!!!

2007-12-30T16:12:00.000-06:00

So I went for a follie check yesterday. It was good!!

Lefty had 19.5mm, 18mm and 15mm
Righty had 17mm, 17mm, 15mm and 14mm
Lining was 9.3

RE said he would have liked to see a follicle at 20 BUT since I had so many that were pretty close if we did the stims one more night he would have to cancel. Each follie 17 or bigger has the chance of maturing with the trigger shot.

We did the trigger shot last night at around 8pm
I go in tomorrow morning (New Year's Eve) for the IUI.

I am so excited! Maybe I have a chance this cycle! Supposedly you have a better chance post-lap and this is my first cycle post lap.
Also I have 4 nice follies that could mature- So the fimbria will have more than one chance to pick one up.

My old friend, "HOPE", is here. Jason thinks this is our lucky cycle. He says there have been signs pointing to that-I hope he is right!

Tomorrow begins the "two week wait"-- UGH!!!

CD 13 ultrasound

2007-12-27T09:01:00.000-06:00

Woo-Hoo, they have grown!!!

Lefty has 16.5mm, 15mm & 11mm
Right has 14mm,13mm, 12mm and 11.5mm
Lining is 7.7 (needs to be 8)

So two more nights of shots, another ultrasound on the 29- then probably trigger that night and do IUI on the 31st! So a New Year's baby is possible

Wow- this has been a rollercoaster- I can't imagine how it feels to be doing IVF and all of the money to be coming out of your pocket.
There is no way we could be doing this!!!

I am very pleased with the results at this point! Hopefully this will be the one and only time we have to do this!!!

CD 10 ultrasound

2007-12-26T15:14:00.000-06:00

I had this ultrasound on Christmas Eve. It was kind of a bummer-- I had quite a few follies but none over 8mm. I had 4 on righty around 8mm and then a bunch of smaller ones. Can't remember the exact measurements of lefty but I think close to the same as righty. My lining was also a bit thin-- I think 6mm- but the ultrasound tech said that is normal considering how small the follies are. As the follies grow, the lining should grow as well.

It is still early but I looked at my last monitored cycle with Clomid and at this point they were 18mm, 16mm and some smaller ones. So I am a bit discouraged.

I suppose is a good thing there aren't a ton of big ones which would run the risk of having to cancel or convert to IVF, since the chance of multiples would be higher.
BUT I was expecting to see at least one or two big ones considering I have been doing the injections.

The Dr. bumped up my dose of the injections to 150 units for 3 nights.
I go back tomorrow to see if they have grown--

Grow follies Grow!!

Divine Intervention?

2007-12-18T14:49:00.000-06:00

I believe in Divine Intervention. My Mom calls them "little God things". You know things that happen that seem to be much more than coincidence. I believe that my IF insurance coverage is just that... a little God thing.

Let me explain...
My company switched insurance in October. I researched all of the options and of course none of them covered IF- or so I thought. I called the HMO option once more to inquire about surgery for my DH. I thought to ask about IF one more time. Lo and behold, the person said this plan does have coverage-6 IUI cycles and 6 IVF he thought. But I would need to call the IF line and find out for sure. Of course at this point they were closed for the day.

I called back the next day and they wouldn't be able to tell me specifics until I actually got my group number but yes it did look like I had the "comprehensive IF coverage" which covers 6 IUI cycles.

So I wait and wait to get the group number- finally get it and they tell me it does cover the 6 IUI cycles, but not IVF. Fine-great, that is way more than most women get so I am happy--no, ECSTATIC!

A few weeks later, something inside made me want to dig a little deeper-just to make sure. I printed out the plan description from the insurance website and it had an IVF rider attached that had certain criteria to meet and upon meeting the criteria IVF was covered. The only criteria I might meet was endometriosis. Didn't know for sure if I had it or not but had a lap scheduled to find out. So I call the insurance company to ask about it and they have no idea what I am talking about or where I got the rider. I told them I had printed it out from THEIR website...

They researched it for a MONTH- managers reviewed it, account rep reviewed it and finally the legal team reviewed it. A month later they finally called and told me even though it was a mistake and not supposed to be part of my plan that they would honor it since it was their mistake--OMG!! I don't know how many cycles it covers, probably one, but that is so much more than most women get. I am very grateful.

Obviously someone was looking out for me to guide me to the website and make the inquiries that I did. I have since looked at the website and the whole plan description has been taken off. They are covering up their mistake and don't want to have to make any more "exceptions" as they are doing for me.

Divine Intervention?? I think so. My Mom said that some little angel is up there and is ready to come down to us- and that it guided me to find this wonderful IF coverage.

So we begin...

2007-12-17T15:23:00.000-06:00

AF came on Saturday. Went in today for 3 day bloodwork...

FSH--8.8 Anything under 10 is good.
Estridol--15 Anything under 50 is good.

We have decided to do the injectibles with the Letrozole. We have the money to do it now, so why not...

Injections start tomorrow night. YIKES. I am excited but so nervous. Not nervous about the shots, but nervous about it not working...

Tonight I am drinking some wine- hopefully I won't be able to drink for 10 months so I need one last hurrah!!!

We have a plan

2007-12-14T10:04:00.000-06:00

Met with RE today- Here is the plan-- I am so excited...
Start Letrozole this month. Today or tomorrow is likely CD1 so will start meds early part of next week. Do a monitored cycle with trigger shot and IUI.
Do one more of the same if that doesn't work.
Then in Feb move to IVF.
We decided to not do the injectibles this cycle (or next) because although insurance covers the IVF procedure. It does not cover the injectibles... whatever.
So the injectibles were going to be $1000 for IUI cycle or $3000 for IVF cycle.
Financially it make sense to go the cheaper route with the IUI cycle in hopes that it will work and then if not we have saved up money for the IVF.

I am excited! It is just like I said in the previous post-- I now have a new sense of HOPE. I feel like I am on cycle 1 again

Christmas party BS.

2007-12-12T14:24:00.000-06:00

So DH works for an oil and gas company. He started with this company last year in October. December rolls around and he is at the office one day and discovers that everyone in the office is invited to the Christmas party dinner except him. I think that is pretty shitty, but we chalk it up to him being new and not really part of the crew yet.

He quits this company in June and goes to (what we thought) would be a better deal for us. Turns out not to be a better deal so he eats crow and goes back to his old company to ask for his job back. They agree.

He has been back since October. He is doing a great job and evenheard 3 of the head guys talking about what a great job he is doing. So we think great- things are good and we don't need to worry about cuts in January.

He goes to work today and finds out that the party is tonight- and once again he is not invited. To make things worse some guys that are newly hired and don't know what is going on as far as work goes have been invited but he and two other guys aren't.

Shitty if you ask me!!! To me it should be all or none- I can't believe that grown MEN would behave this way. I understand that he did quit and come back, so maybe they are still pissed about that- but then why didn't he get invited last year when he was a new hire? New hires got invited this year...

New hope

2007-12-12T11:47:00.000-06:00

I am just sitting here thinking back when we first started TTC. The first time and the second time. I was so full of hope, thinking I would be pregnant in no time.
"I will be one of the ones that gets pg right away" I thought- Boy was I wrong.
It took 15 cycles of trying for Garrett- That is a long time. We did not have insurance at that time so no testing or anything was done. We scheduled a trip to Mexico and two weeks later I found out I was pregnant.

We decided to start trying again in Dec. 2005. Once again I thought- "oh I have gotten pregnant before so it should be easy this time"- WRONG. Here we are two years later. At least this time I have some answers to why I can't get pg and a plan to get pg.

That leads me to where I am now- again I am thinking "oh I am going to start treatment soon, hopefully this month or January, so I will get pg right away"
I know from past experiences I shouldn't think this way, but it is so hard not to. Especially when trying something new. I feel as hopeful as I did way back in June 2002 when I quit taking the pill for the first time.

Tonight I take my last pill. I was on the pill for the lap and even though I could stop taking it at any point after the surgery, I decided to finish out the pack so Friday (when I have my post-op appt) will hopefully be CD 1 or 2 and maybe we can get started with treatment right away.

Here's to hope...

Results of Lap

2007-12-09T16:31:00.000-06:00

Well I had the lap done on Friday. I was pretty nervous going into it but DH and my Mom were there to support me. The nurse that prepped me was hilarious. She and I shared the same birthday. The anesthesiologist was great too. Once he put the "margarita" in my IV on the way to the OR I don't remember a thing. I woke up in the recovery room thinking I was Christmas shopping. Waking up was the strangest sensation!! My Mom and DH were able to come in pretty soon after I woke up- I was able to eat, drink and pee and was on my way home.

Now to what the lap revealed...
I do have endo- DH said that the Dr. said it was a pretty good case of it even though I don't have the usual symptoms. Dr was able to remove it.
There were some stringy things attached to various parts, he removed that as well
One ovary had a cyst and he removed that. He said this ovary is small and looks older than I am-- great.
The other ovary was attached to my pelvis due to the endo-so he fixed that.
What he seemed most concerned about was the finger-like things that are supposed to grab the egg from the ovary were damaged by the endo. They are supposed to be long and wispy, mine are short and stubby.
I have an appt next week to discuss options but Dr. told DH and Mom that he thinks we should generate alot of eggs to give the "fingers" more opportunity to pick one up. So I guess that means injectibles. Insurance will pay for IUI so I am sure we will do that as well.

After 2-3 months of that move on to IVF (if insurance covers---more on that later)
I guess if insurance doesn't cover it that will be the end of our journey.

Now about the insurance- they have "told" me on the phone all along that the DO NOT cover IVF. But I printed the benefits off the internet and there was a rider attached to the plan that covered IVF if the couple met certain criteria--- one being endometriosis. Seems pretty cut and dry to me right? Well they have been "researching" it for 3 weeks now. First they had to speak with the supervisor, then to the acct rep., now they are speaking with the legal dept. I guess I really threw them through the loop when I actually read the book and didn't just rely on what they "told" me. I am sure the legal dept is trying to figure a way out- hopefully they won't. I am going to call tomorrow and try to (nicely) demand an answer. I mean if they will cover IVF screw the IUI's--let's move straight to that!

Anyway I am recovering nicely from the surgery-- the gas is finally gone, hopefully the bloating will follow soon. The incisions are only slightly tender. Mentally I am both relieved and sad. On one hand at least I know what is causing the problems and I realize that in order for insurance to cover IVF I need this diagnosis. On the other hand I am sad-- what if this prevents me from having another baby. I mean I am VERY thankful for Garrett, but I don't feel my family is complete...

Lap on Friday-pre op tomorrow

2007-12-05T16:16:00.000-06:00

Well the big day has come-- the lap is on for Friday. I have to go in tomorrow morning for pre-op stuff. I am excited to get it over with-- Nervous though...
I have never had surgery.
Hopefully he will find some endo bc if so I am pretty sure insurance will cover IVF-woo hoo!
More tomorrow!

Starting BCP today

2007-11-01T14:25:00.000-05:00

What a weird feeling to be starting birth control pills after 2 YEARS!! We have decided to do the laparoscopy instead of starting with the injectibles because if I do have endo. then it would be a waste of money to do the injects. and IUI. So now the plan is to have the lap on Dec. 7 and then move forward with the inject. IUI (hopefully)-I guess depending on what they find during th lap. So that means there is NO chance of us getting KU in November and I guess December too--weird!
Oh well Jason keeps reminding me this is bringing us one step closer--I guess, feels more like 2 steps back.

On a lighter note, Garrett had the MOST fun EVER trick or treating last night. We went with two other 3 yr old boys and I have never seen them have so much fun. They were running from house to house, yelling and jumping. It was so cute! Of course this morning he wanted to do it all over again--
Now we are looking forward to Santa-- what a fun time of year for a kid!

On hold...

2007-10-12T15:05:00.001-05:00

Well looks like we are on hold for a few months, probably until at least January. DH changed jobs and does not get paid for 45 DAYS, so all of our money is going to go to pay bills etc...
That being said I ~may~ go ahead and do the laproscopy to check for endo. Insurance will cover this and at least this way I feel like I am being proactive.
Of course we are going to try au natural these next few months~who knows, stranger things have happened.

Next week is going to be very un-stressful and I am supposed to be Oing sometime next week- so maybe we will get lucky and it will happen on a TAB month. On Tuesday I am flying to New Orleans with my Mom-she sees a Dr. there and my Dad can't go with her, so, of course, I volunteered. We will only be there for the day, but we will get to eat some of that yummy Cajun food.

Then we leave early on Wednesday morning to go to Galveston with the Inlaws. We go to the beach with them every year in October and it is always a very welcome get-away. I am not taking my thermometer or anything. Feels very liberating!
I have decided I am not going to worry about TTC until January when (hopefully) we will start injects. and IUI's.

Dr appt.

2007-10-08T11:34:00.000-05:00

Well I met with a new RE. I liked him. We went over our whole history and he gave us some choices of what we can do:

1. Injectibles with IUI
2. Some injectibles and some Femara with IUI
3. Laproscopy to check for endometriosis

We chose to go with number 2 for two months and if nothing has happened by then we will do the surgery. Our plan is to do nothing for this month (maybe it will happen naturally?!?). Then call when AF comes, they will show me how to do the injects. I will alternate with a pill (Femara) and the injects. Then do a trigger shot, to trigger the egg to release and then do IUI. This choice is a little less aggressive than doing it all injectibles, but it is also about half the cost, since insurance doesn't cover the injects.
Good plan, liked the doctor-- hopefully we will be PG soon!!

AF is here

2007-10-04T17:07:00.000-05:00

Well--not pregnant. AF reared her ugly head on the 2nd. But I was expecting it because I had started spotting a couple of days before. BOO!
Anyway I have an appointment with the RE on Monday so I am looking forward to that.
I found out what my insurance actually covers. It covers 6 cycles of IUI and monitoring, which is less than what they initially told me but way better than what I had so I am pretty pleased. The downside is that they don't cover injectibles. But maybe the Dr. can prescribe a low dosage of them and they won't be too expensive. Or maybe he will go the Clomid/Femara route. I don't care, I just want to be as agressive as possible since we have almost been trying for 2 YEARS.

Garrett is great-says the funniest stuff! I just love him so much! He had pictures at his school yesterday so I am anxious to find out how they turned out.

On a sad note, we are going to have to put our cat, Lucas, to sleep tomorrow. He hasn't been eating for a month or so. I took him to the vet yesterday and found out he has Feline Aids and his liver is failing. So we have come to the decision to go ahead and put him to sleep, instead of watching him slowly starve to death. He has been a good cat, I am sure he will be the only one I will ever have that uses the toilet.

Hook em horns (UT vs OU is this weekend)

No spotting-- yet

2007-09-25T16:51:00.000-05:00

Well today is CD 25 (10dpo) and I have not had one bit of spotting yet!! Hopefully that is a GOOD sign. I did take an HPT this morning and it was BFN, but I am still holding onto hope that it was just too early. Very possible.

I will test again in the morning and then every morning until spot or AF shows up.
AF typically shows up around CD 30-31, so I should know something before too long.
Spot usually shows up 5-6 days before-- typically around CD 25-26. So of course I am excited that nothing is here--YET.

Other news:

We had a great time in Austin, saw alot of old friends. I miss Austin, but I love being here near my parents. I think it is such a great experience for Garrett to grow up near his grandparents. I just wish they were in Austin instead of Dallas. Glad we have friends to go and visit there! Hook em Horns!!!

Predictions

2007-09-20T16:35:00.001-05:00

I have received various predictions as to when I will get pregnant over the years. I thought it would be fun to list them to see if any of them prove to be correct.

Shayna--6 and girl
(Due date for this cycle would be June)

Jessie--spring (lots of green) and boy

Angel--April and boy

Mommy Hopes--July/Aug. and boy

Cheri-Feb and girl

One in Austin--5 yrs from July 2002 and girl.
She predicted 2 years from July 2002 a boy and look what happened in July 2004: ~GARRETT~. So maybe she was on to something, since 5 years is 2007 this would be the year.

The months/numbers that they predicted didn't necessiarly mean due date~it could mean conception, find out, due date or LMP. So that leaves alot of possibilites.

Austin (trigs)

2007-09-18T16:03:00.000-05:00

Jason and I just decided that we are going to go to Austin this weekend to visit our friend, Cheryl. Cheryl always has fun parties to watch the UT game, so we will get to see alot of our old friends! We are taking Garrett with us this time as well and they have not seen him for over a year. Won't they be surprised at how big he is and how much he talks (non-stop).
I will post pictures of the weekend!

Hello

2007-09-17T16:41:00.000-05:00

Hello
I have just decided to keep a blog of my quest for child # 2. We are on our 20 cycle of trying for #2. I was just about ready to throw in the towel BUT I got some wonderful news. My company has decided to switch insurance. I thought maybe, just maybe, the new insurance would have some kind of infertility coverage. The first phone call I made inquiring about it resulted in a "no, none of our plans carry any IF coverage". That really bummed me out because I was really hoping it would cover something-- anything to give me hope.
For some reason I decided to call back and speak to someone else. Lo-and behold, the HMO plan does cover IF-- up to 6 cycles of ovulation induction, 6 cycles of IUI with injectibles and 6 cycles of IVF. HOLY SHIT!! I was in tears. Poor Jason thought something was wrong.

So now I wait until October 11 to meet with the new RE.

In the mean time I have taken Clomid this month and am waiting to see if by some chance I might get pregnant this month. Now that the stress is somewhat relieved. Wouldn't that be ironic!